you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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