its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
