Are we in a gay sports bar?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
