Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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