is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
