i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
