u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"