I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
