I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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