I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.