Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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