I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
false alarm. still invincible.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
