Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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