so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
