Its about making memories worth repressing
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
