Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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