Ketchup is God's man juice
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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