Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
