i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
this is an emotional support booty call
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
