It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
