my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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