i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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