love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
