I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
