I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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