That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
