She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
