We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Everclear isn't food dammit
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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