get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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