Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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