My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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