Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
