she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize