Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
