I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
