i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize