I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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