She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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