Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
