so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
