Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
it hurts more in the daytime
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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