tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
