after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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