I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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