He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
