Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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