You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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