Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
