I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
