don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
vagina is talking i cant
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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