were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
