to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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