Jerry, you need to find god
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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