Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
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I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
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I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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