I wish my penis had an off switch
My nipple is on Facebook.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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