3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
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she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
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I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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