i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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