Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
